Where I'm at in my life

I work in a job I don't like. I'm a market researcher I call people on the phone to do surveys companies hire us to do it for them. Only to get cursed at by angry people or hung up on because they think I'm a telemarketer. I have sketches that I have drawn of clothing and I have poetry on the internet but I haven't been up to date with it like I use to be. I passion for all these things but the question is how do I move futher how to I break away from my comfort zone from my fears, low self esteem, confidence and shyness. I follow Chris Brown and Drake on facebook and see how they made it. Then I see Marc Ecko who came from nothing and now owns clothing lines and a magazine and accomplishing his dreams everyday. I want to work for a major company in the entertainment industry I want to also create my own things and be a mogul like him. How do I put everything behind me and take a leap of faith and pray that I will land on the right spot. I need help I really believe I need someone here to help me push me like a mentor or something. I need someone to hold my hand for a little bit and let me go so I can find my own way. When will my day come and how can I make it.

Who I Am

Like I said in my pro in the "about me" section I have ideas and dreams. But I dont know how to make them come true. I've been living in a eniroment that I dont like. My grandmother is a very negative and complains all the time. I'm 22 and living at home going to school and working. But it seems like I'm not going anywhere because I'm lonely dont have any friends. I have people that I'm cool with but I dont call them and talk to them like that. Maybe its they way I was brought up. I'm overweight now I always been since I was like 8yrs old. My grandmother tell me my flaws and pick on me curising me. My mother she was a drug addict so my grandmother adopted me when I was one. I always tried to be with my mother but bad things always came of it. I remeber one night spending the night at her house when I was younger. I was there because thats where my brothers and sisters where there is 6 of us all together. Well I remember her waking me up in the middle of the night saying "where is it" I had no idea what she was talking about. She was talking about her crack pipe which I didnt know what it looked like. I only remember the bad things of my past and not the good for some reason. My grandma use to keep me and my sister who is a year younger then me. my mom came to visit us and to take us out for a pizza. I was like 5 or younger. I remember eating at the pizza place and coming back in the cab and my sister not getting out and walking in the dark home. My grandmother says I came screaming and crying with a note in my pocket from my mother saying that she took my sister.