"Brother James" My brother

Brother James is what I call my brother on my cell. He goes by adrian...Anyways he got out of his shock camp which he went to for rehab it didn't work one bit at all. so me and my sister lives together and he stayed a while into I called the cops on him..The stories to what drove me mad..Okay I come into my now apartment he lays condoms on the table in the living room. I asked him not to do that plenty of times he said ok then I still see them.One day I was going to play his xbox so i reached for a game a little white rock thing falls out so I call my uncle to confirm what I think it is he tasted it and said its crack. later on I confronted him and said that it was fake and my sister said that he flushed it. He was still able to stay on the couch.. I found pieces of weed and cigar papers on the table my grandmother was there at that time she told me to take them off the table and put them in a napkin so I did evidence or (blackmail). Anyways one time I come downstairs and in the kitchen there is oil spilled all over the floor smeared all the way into the living room I wonder who did it? He did and too stupid to clean it up so when he came back I told him that there was a mop in the closet so he can clean it. A different time in the living room he put his dirty underwear on the floor and his sneakers on the table. When he came back I told him about them and when I go into the living room again guess where they are on the table. He slept on the couch then my grandmother decided to let him stay in the extra room and me and my sister apartment ok.. So he stays in there so one morning I go into the room because my clothes are still in there after I moved to the big room after my grandmother left..Ok so i go into the room the window is open, The screen is up, the plastic window part is up and the glass part is up.. The curtains are blowing inside I told him that he cant stay here anymore in a text then he write me back I was hot. Ok if you where hot why not put the window back down he never wrote back. See where we live if its cold outside and the heat is on ( which is free) you have to pay a $20 fine. I came into the house plenty of times and all down stairs smelled like weed because of him. one time the fool stood in the door  and the screendoor and decided to smoke weed and let it blow into the house. What a dumbass I dont want to smell that at all. Another time I came downstair in the mornining he left to go to work he doesn't have a key because i know more of my stuff would be missing...So I look at the back door which is unlock thats ok no key then I go into the kitchen the frontdoor also unlocked. When he came back I said why leave both doors unlock so someone can kill me in my sleep. I told him that I didnt want him to stay anymore I told him to get he can only come to change his clothes which he did into my sister started to sneak him in. Then thanksgiving came so he stayed so did my little brother and his friend and my drunken mother. And during this time 6am in the morning I smell weed underneath my bedroom door it was because he wanted to start his day early he smoked it outside.. So after they left he stayed he made his way back in ..Soon enough I come in from school all I smell is weed.  two days ago my grandmother spent the night since she works downtown he leaves 2 o'clock in the morning waking her up so I locked the door 8am he comes knocking on the door are you kidding me. I let him knock for a bit and then I came and let him in. Then I got up and went to the food pantry where I volunteer before I left the door was unlocked. While my grandmother was sleeping and me upstairs. He didnt care enough to tell me that he was leaving so I can lock the door.  Thats the day I called the cops. This is how it happen i come downstairs he is back and everything my grandmother up and about.  my sister had the night at her boyfriend house. So she wasn't there for the drama. So I look into the living room he is bent over on the couch and a kneeling position but face on the couch and knees on the floor head side ways. I whispher to my grandmother to look she tells me to go get the camera so she can take a picture she forgot it. Then she said the he must be on crack and stuff so he gets up and starts yelling at her so I said 'Adrian shut up" Then he went mad and said i dont like the way you talk to me I said " you do stupid things ect"  you treat me like a bum ( we face to face here yelling) I said " you are a bum"  then he got even madder and said that I was because i got the apartment through her and everything is handed to me. I told him to leave he said no so I said " Im going to call the cops' and he said " go ahead" so I called them. He left before they came though..later on my grandmother said he also said something about me having a silver spoon.  I went on this leadership retreat for school on halloween weekend all my stuffed been moved- thats when my grandma moved out and decided to move my stuff into her old room. $140 is missing from my stuff I know he stole it he would tell if he did. He has a thing about stealing from people and lieing like there is no tomorrow. He stole games from me when we were younger and sold them he still denies it because. I use to have a lot of games for my super nintendo that my cousin gave me and he sold them I remember i use to have spiderman for and supermario brothers. They went missing so I go to the game store and my supermario brothers game is there where he sold it for money or whatever. I heard that he been through alot as a child he was beaten my his stepmother and tied to a table and put into a home because our mother was a drug addicted he was also hit by a car..but he has a mind of a child he has been in and out a jail and stuff be he is a grown man he'll be 29 this month and he has a daughter. when are people able to grow up. Every single of my brothers and sisters been through hell. My sister told me that If I went what they went through i would be tougher..My options of a baby was stay with my foster mother and dont know my family that well or be adopted. Now I think about I wouldn't want to know anyone.

Thanksgiving and afterwards.

My drunken mother came down for thanksgiving yelling and ranting about stupid stuff drinking herself away. I sent her text msgs saying i cut myself because she likes to bother me when she drinks. I told her everytime you bother me I'll send you crazy messages. so when she came she said where your cuts you aint crazy. This went on for the whole time she was here. Oh yea me and my sister live together my grandmother moved to a place for old people. She wasn't here for her rants she cried and yelled and talked to herself into 1 or 2 in the morning and it was also about her birthday how no one called her.She also cried about her uncle because he told her that his stomach was hurting. come to find out later that his stomach was hurting because the smell of alcohol on her breath was too much for him. If I did call her on her birthday it would go to my little brother phone. Want to know why because she somehow decided to have all her calls forward to his phone. Then the next day thanks giving she picked with me and i lost it and cursed " I'm fucking tired of this shit" I think thats what I said I dont remember. All I know is I was tired of here going on at me she thinks I'm telling my little brother what to do. He is stuck living with her because he moved with her to go to college. So I snapped. It's funny cause I think of the people who say all i saw was red or I blacked out i cant remember what happen. And they killed the people. Anyways after I cursed I went down stairs she followed screaming "fuck you" thanks mom. I cursed before a couple years ago because she is fat, very fat and has a stomach. So one day when she came by she decided to do what she does best which is drink and pick at me. Then she came in my room yelling and what not i cursed she conered me with her large belly and I think i said " get the fuck away from me". Then all hell broke lose as usually. Then she cursed and I told her how she isn't my mother the only mother I had was my grandmother who adopted me. Which is now true according to my birth certificate her name is no longer on it.  Any ways back to thanksgiving she sat outside road around in a cab to my more liquor. I believe that she dispises me i dont know why..maybe because I'm the one that got adopted by her mother...So by law again I'm really her sister and her daughter at the same time lol. Anyways everytime she drinks or when I hear from her or anything else about her I get depressed..Really depressed suicidual thinking depressed. I dont think that I love her..because I dont really care about her anymore..I just dont care anymore.